If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
