I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
