can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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