Moan for me like Helen Keller
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
