Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
