do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
