wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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