If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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