It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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