Midget sex pt 2 tonight
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
