Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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