i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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