i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
