just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There's always time for handjobs
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
