I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize