You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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