i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
