She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
