wat bout pragnant strippers??
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My cat gives me a boner
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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