I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
i think my cat just said my name.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
