Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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