At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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