Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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