Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
