i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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