I love black thongs
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
