I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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