also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Non-Jews are for practice
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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