I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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