Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
