im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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