just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
