my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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