So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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