I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
