yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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