Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
