Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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