You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
