So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
