But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
