Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
