After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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