Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
