You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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