You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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