i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize