For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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