Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
