Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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