i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize