You work out of a Hotel?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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