...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
