You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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