so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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